FEEDBACK101

1. Speak for yourself
- We encourage you to share and use “I” statements. We are only experts on ourselves. (For example: instead of saying “We all struggle with forgiving,” say, “I struggle with forgiving.”)

2. Ideas are not our babies, they’re ideas
- An idea is not us or our ego. - Ideas can be good or bad, and that’s okay, they’re just ideas.
- Attaching heart and emotions to our ideas will set us up to get hurt.
- A bad idea can also be the groundwork for a good idea, don’t keep it to yourself.

3. Assume everyone is at beginner level and have no context of what you’re talking about
- Advance/expert levels speak differently.
- Assuming expertise changes my language, tone, demeanor, likelihood to allow mistakes…
- Feedback sandwich: nice, sore, nice = not necessary.
(don’t force good before bad, or don’t condition to have bad after good)

4. Collaboration
- Collab is one of the ways to become better almost instantly (not just your ideas, but the ideas of others and yours combined)
- Let’s be aware: Inherently, because of sin nature, no one wants to be told what to do, and sometimes feedback can sound like that. Remember it is just another person’s opinion.
- You have to want help to get help, let other help your ideas become better.

5. Openness
- Being open helps everyone (yourself and others)
- In order to work together, we gotta be open
- Help others be open: be able to read the situation and match the other person

6. Intention 100% has to be Growth
- Be aware of emotion (acknowledge it, but don’t let it drive)
- Offense - our intent is not to offend/be offended, our intent is to sharpen one another
- Take out the offense/emotion and provide opportunity to grow
- Use the right words = prepare beforehand (sometimes that simply means “think before you speak”)

7. No fixing, saving, or setting other people straight while they’re talking
- Respect people’s journeys and trust the Holy Spirit inside of them to lead them into all truth — in his timing. Resist the temptation to offer quick advice as people share in the group. Some conversations needs to be had offline in order to honor that person and others.

8. Turn to Wonder
- If you feel judgmental or defensive when someone else is sharing, ask yourself: “I wonder what brought them to this belief? I wonder what they are feeling right now? I wonder what my reaction teaches me about myself”

9. Trust and learn from silence
- It is okay to have silence between responses as the group shares, giving members the opportunity to reflect. Remember, there is no pressure to share.

10. Time
- Be aware of time. Let’s remain mindful that there are time limitations and others may want to share.
- It will be a skill to learn: the balance between how much you want to talk about your idea to give it some context, and how much feedback you want to hear.